I don’t know how to get the panic under control. It’s been a difficult couple of days in both our families and there has been discord between us. Some family, some personal.

His daughter is completely not ok with me right now. Don’t know the details. I’ve been told to focus on the solution not the problem. Okaaay…

We have not been getting along because I can’t let go. I’m better, but still irritating to him.

So, when his phone died and was out of commission for a couple hours this evening, I freaked. He responded to the travel schedule, but as soon as I got personal, absolute silence. And I freaked.

Where’s my trust? Where’s the girl who was ok not speaking to him for 4 days? I woke up this morning. Prayed. Listened to 2 great meditations. Peace and unconditional love. And this is where the day ends. With, by the way, a trip through rage that I do thank God only my sponsor saw.

How, why does this happen? Show me God. Take the pain and fear, please. Give me faith and trust in You.

God help me.


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